With £5 you may purchase

5 gin and juice at Opium (£ 5)

A Lurpak Butter Dish (£ 4.99)

Frame to have a picture of your goat in (£ 1.29) (The picture of your goat: priceless)

WANKING TISSUES (3,64 packs for 5 quid) (the packaging photo looks a bit like poo, too)

Elf shoes from Ebay (£ 4.29)

Limited edition TP (2,5 packs for £ 5)